Not Again
by montez
Summary: All that seemed to play in Jason's mind were the words, "Not Again". My take on what could have happened on that train in the episode. "Derailed"
1. Chapter 1

Not Again  
By Montez

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Criminal Minds; I just totally love the show and characters.

A/N: My second attempt at a Criminal Minds Fanfic. I am so grateful for the support I received on my first fic I thought I would try again. I love angst and we only hurt the ones we love right? So this is a little journey into what could have happened on that train in Texas during the episode from season 1 'Derailed'. Hope you enjoy--Montez

Chapter 1

Supervisory Special Agent Jason Gideon had just handed SSA Hotchner his sidearm and started toward the train. He had been watching the events on the train unfold for the last several hours, trying desperately to figure out how he was going to get the five hostages, one of the original hostages being one of his Agents, Elle Greenway, and hopefully the suspect out of this situation alive. He had reluctantly allowed Dr. Spencer Reid to put himself on the train, is the disguise of a technician who could remove the 'micro-chip' their suspect was under the delusion that the Government had implanted in his arm. Gideon had instructed, no ordered, Reid to not stay on that train once he had 'removed' the chip. The removal all being a quick slight of hand trick that only Reid was able to pull off. However once the younger Agent had accomplished the task the suspect would not allow him to leave, leaving Gideon to watch as now two of his Agents had become hostages.

Just seconds before he started toward the train, Gideon had been watching what appeared to be an interaction between Reid and the suspect, a Dr. Bryar, renowned Physicist, who after years in a mental facility was apparently experiencing a psychotic break. Jason had kept mumbling 'don't push him Reid' as he watched the interaction, finally unable to stand there and watch Gideon was going to enter the train as the 'higher authority' the suspect believed him to be. However he hadn't even gone thirty feet from where he had left Agent Hotchner standing when a gunshot echoed from the train. He felt himself stumble back in surprise as he reached for support of the patrol care his was passing, then with a speed that belied his age, he raced toward the train, only barely hearing Hotch and Morgan yelling for him to stop, the sound of the HRT units radios relaying what appeared to be happening inside as a team readied to enter the car from the end closest to the hostages.

Jason stepped through the door of the train car, not knowing what he was expecting to see. In the few seconds it took him to reach the train a million scenarios flashed in his mind, the main one being he was going to find his protégé, someone he viewed as almost a son to him, laying dead. He released a breath as he took in the view of Reid, solidly on his feet, leaning over the slumped form a Dr. Bryar. Quickly assessing the situation Gideon noticed one of the hostages with a gun in his hand, "I had too…" the nervous, scared man spoke, "He was going to kill us all."

Gideon watched as Reid leaned toward the man, slowly removing the gun from his hands, before the younger agent looked at him, "We're going to need an ambulance." Reid said quietly.

Just then HRT came in the door behind the hostages as Reid held his position next to the seat that held the unconscious suspect. Elle, still handcuffed to her seat, watched as the color seemed to drain from Gideon's face. "Reid?" The fear the woman heard in the older man's voice confused her as she tried to figure out what was causing it. She turned her eyes to the Agent standing beside her, it was then she saw what put the fear in Gideon's face.

Spencer was looking down at his chest as the stripes of his shirt were being quickly covered by a growing crimson stain, "Oh God." She whispered as she reached her free hand toward Reid's arm.

SSA Derek Morgan had just entered the train behind Gideon, but was to far back to see what was happening, However it was the quiet voice of Reid that drew his attention as he notice Gideon rush forward, "I'm sorry" the young Agent whispered as his legs gave out, Jason reaching him before his knees hit the floor.

"REID!" Morgan yelled as he watched his friend, his little brother collapse into Gideon's arms. Stepping back toward the door he yelled, "WE NEED A MEDIC NOW!" He then disappeared from the doorway as Hotch climbed the stairs, entering the car.

Elle was pulling desperately at her cuffed hand, wanting, no needing, to get to Reid, who was only feet from her, but it might as well been yards with her inability to help the young man who had willingly put himself on the train with an armed suspect in an attempt to rescue the hostages, herself included. "Damn it Morgan get me free!" she shouted as she watched Gideon lower Reid the rest of the way to the floor. Morgan kneeling beside or at least as close as he could with the narrow isle.

"Reid?," Hotch whispered as he came closer, now standing over Jason's shoulder not wanting to believe what he was seeing. Reid's earlier words seemed to echo inside Hotch's head, _"Could at least one of you act like you're going to see me again?"_ Hotch's response seemed so hollow now as he could hear the sounds of medics boarding the train behind him.

"Somebody give me the damn key!" Elle shouted again. Hotch made eye contact as he reached in his pocket pulling out a spare cuff key, tossing it to her. Catching it she quickly undid the one thing that had kept her from helping her friend. Just as she got the restraint off, that medics were trying to get in beside Reid, but Gideon had yet to let go of the younger man's arm.

"Sir, we need you to move so we can help him." The first EMT spoke as Morgan reluctantly moved, allowing the second medic access to the downed Agent. "Sir, please."

Hotch reached down and grabbed a hold of Jason's upper arm, pulling the older man to his feet. Aaron was shocked at the little resistance he got, but once he got Gideon up it was the devastated look on his friend's face that shook the normally unshakable profiler. Jason Gideon's was as pale-white as a person could be and still be standing, his breaths, however, were coming out in short, raspy gasps. Hotch knew if he couldn't get Gideon to focus for a moment the man could hyperventilate and possible end up collapsing himself. "Morgan, help me with Jason." The younger man spoke, looking at his fellow Agent.

Pulling his eye's from the bloody mess his friend's chest appeared to be, Morgan looked at Hotch, immediately seeing why he was asking for help. As he stepped closer he heard Hotch's calm voice speaking softly to Gideon. "Jason, we need to go outside, give them room to work. Jason I need you to listen to me, I need you to take a few deep breaths."

Grabbing Gideon's other arm; Morgan looked at Elle, "Stay with him." Tear-filled eye's looked up at him from her spot at Reid's feet, well out of the way of the medics that were working to save their young genius. Tapping a medic on the shoulder the dark-skinned Agent added, "She's riding with him." A quick nod was the only response as the two-man team continued to work as Morgan and Hotch slowly worked their way out of the train with Gideon supported between them.

Hotch and Morgan, somehow, managed to get Jason off the train and had taken a few steps when the older man's legs gave out. Easing him onto his knees, Hotch knelt in front of him as Morgan helped support him from the side. "Jason, look at me!" Gideon was staring blankly; Hotch could almost see Reid's collapse replaying in the older profiler's mind. "Jason, I need you to take a deep-breath, breathe for me Jason."

It took a few seconds and another medic dropping beside the three men, holding out an oxygen mask toward Hotch, indicating for him to place it on Gideon's face, before the seasoned Agent finally seemed to blink and look at Aaron. "Reid?" the muffled sound and desperate tone only added to the concern that Hotch and Morgan were feeling for not only Reid, but Gideon as well. It had been barely a year since the Boston Bombing incident, that had landed Gideon on a six month medical leave for PTSD, and the two younger Agents had no idea how what was happening with Reid would affect the older man.

"Take some deep-breaths, Jason the medics are with Reid. Elle's going with him in the ambulance; she needs to be checked as well. Take a few more deep-breaths, then we can head toward the hospital." Hotch tried to reassure as he helped hold the mask on Jason's face.

Commotion at the other end of the car drew their attention; they all remained kneeling in the central-Texas dirt, as Reid was carried out on a stretcher, Elle close by his side, holding his hand. Gideon tried to stand, pushing the mask from his face, Morgan helped him to his feet but the older profiler wavered as he took a step. Hotch made eye contact with Elle just as the ambulance doors closed, a subtle, tear-filled nod was the only way they had of knowing Reid was still alive.

"Jason we need to follow them, Reid's still alive, he's a fighter, when have you known him to give up?" Hotch spoke believably, Morgan looked at him, if the profiler was giving false assurances it didn't appear in his face or in his body language, so until they were told different, they had to assume that Reid was alive and going to be okay, no matter how bad it looked.

Guiding Gideon toward the waiting SUV, they found an equally pale JJ opening the front passenger side door, Gideon climbed inside. Morgan reached for the back door, allowing JJ entrance before slipping in beside her, Hotch ran around the front of the vehicle, climbing in he quickly hit the lights and sirens, following the dusty trail the Ambulance was leaving as it made its way toward the highway.


	2. Chapter 2

Not Again  
Chapter 2

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

The black SUV easily caught up with the Ambulance carrying two members of the BAU, silence permeated the interior as Morgan and JJ sat in the backseat, eye's focused straight ahead, watching the speeding vehicle in front of them. Jason sat with his hands clinched so tightly in the passenger seat that they were white, at least where Reid's blood wasn't covering them. Hotch, driving as fast as he could to keep up with the ambulance, occasionally shot glances at his Unit Chief, feeling his insides churn at the devastated, fearful expression on his friends face.

The fifteen miles to the hospital felt like an eternity for those in the large vehicle as they followed the ambulance into the emergency entrance area. Before Aaron could get the truck in gear, Gideon jumped out as the gurney containing Reid was pulled from the back of the bus, Elle, still holding the younger man's hand. Following them through the doors Jason was stopped from entering the trauma room that the younger agent was wheeled into by one of the nurses, "Sir, you can't come in here." seeing that the older man had stopped the nurse quickly turned her attention to the patient as several more medical personal crowded the room.

Morgan and Hotch came to stand behind Gideon, who was silently watching the activity in the room, JJ stood a few feet back, her mind still trying to process what she had seen unfold on the video screens inside the command vehicle at the hostage sight. The young blond had watched, just as Gideon and Morgan had, as Reid seemed to be trying to talk Dr. Bryar down, she had heard the senior profiler mumble something as he stormed from the trailer, Morgan close behind. The Media Liaison then watched as chaos seemed to breakout as Elle pushed the suspect, while Spencer fought him for the gun. Everything stopped suddenly as the young woman watched the hostage taker slump in the seat he had fallen into during the struggle, one of the hostages, the man in the business suit who was just barely in the screen seemed to be holding a gun. JJ saw Gideon appear in the car, but then watched in horror as fear passed over the man's face as he lunged forward to catch Reid as the younger man's legs gave out.

Her heart had stopped as her friend crumpled into the older profiler's arms, seeming unable to move she watched as Morgan and Hotch came into view, then Paramedics, who immediately started working on their fallen comrade. Now standing in the hallway of the hospital she found she couldn't move any closer to the door to see what was happening with Spencer.

-------

Gideon felt the two men flank him, but his eye's never left Reid, he did notice one of the nurses trying to get Elle to move so the medical team could have better access to their patient, as well as, their need to check on her, dried blood on the side of her head shown where she had been struck when the deranged man thought she was on the train for him. Jason watched as Greenaway leaned over and looked into Reid's face before she reluctantly moved her hand, then the female profiler allowed the nurse to walk her from the room, as other nurses took the open spot, working desperately to stop the blood coming from their patient.

--------

Elle felt Reid's hand tighten on hers as the ambulance came to a stop, though his eye's were closed, as they exited the vehicle she had to jog to keep up with the gurney, ignoring the nurse trying to disentangle the two colleagues hands, but neither letting go. Entering the Trauma Room the medical staff started working frantically to stabilize the young man on the gurney as Elle felt a nurse gently take her arm, "Mame, we need you to move, so we can work on him, and you need to be looked at as well." The nurse had been informed by the EMT of Elle's need to be treated as well, but the head wound was obvious. "Please, we'll take care of him, but we need to take care of you also." The nurse repeated.

Reluctantly Elle leaned over Reid's horrifically pale face, "Reid? Spencer?" a brief flutter of eye's opening brought tears to her own as she saw the pain reflecting in his, "The doctor's need to take a look at you, I have to move, but I'll be close, you fight this okay? Don't you dare give up." She gently ran her free hand through his unruly hair, as she felt him squeeze the hand still in his, then she felt him release her hand as she heard a muffled "'t's okay", Reid's eyes closing, Elle felt the nurse pull her toward the door. As she neared the entrance she looked back at her fallen friend, then turned and locked eyes with Jason Gideon. The total and complete devastation she saw in the older man's eyes nearly took her breath; she had never seen a person look as broken as she did looking at the senior profiler. Feeling the nurse continue to lead her from the room, she suddenly felt weak, the adrenaline that had been coursing through her body since the whole incident began seemed to leave her at once as her head wound made itself known with the relentless pounding, her vision suddenly darkened as her legs seemed unable to support her any longer and for the moment Elle welcomed the darkness.

----------

Hotch was standing behind Gideon, watching not only the activity in the room, but the older man beside him. The expression that the older man held was one Hotch had only seen one other time, but it was only one he had seen days after the incident, it was the same lost, devastated expression that Gideon had in that photo of him that was taken shortly after the bombing in Boston. Hotch knew what loosing those agents that day had done to Jason, hell Hotch would have been the seventh victim of that day if not for Gideon refusing to give up on him when other's were trying to pull the Unit Chief from the unsecured area. Hotch had learned days later, as he lay recovering from his own injuries and having only woken up from a three day coma, that Gideon had been running toward the building that six agents had entered, Hotch only steps from crossing the threshold when the building blew.

But now Hotch watched as one of the nurses was trying to get Elle to move, he watched her whisper something to Reid, before allowing the nurse to move her toward the door. Aaron watched the young woman lock eyes with Jason, then he stepped back as the nurse led Elle into the hall. When she passed he noticed her waver in her step and turned just in time to catch her unconscious decent as her legs gave out. Without even thinking he quickly lifted her into his arms, the nurse motioning for him to follow her into a curtained cubicle just across from the Trauma Room. Gently laying her on the gurney, Hotch stepped back allowing the nurse to start her assessment. The woman glanced up as the young man watched her, "She'll be okay, I think it's all catching up with her. The doctor will be in here just as soon as he can."

Hotch nodded at the woman's words as he felt a gentle touch on his arm. "I'll stay with her Hotch; I think Gideon needs you and Morgan right now." JJ had followed them into the room after witnessing another friend collapse from the events of the day.

Glancing back at the bed, then at the blond agent, his only response was another curt nod, giving JJ's shoulder a reassuring squeeze he stepped back into the hallway, just as a loud buzzing sound came from the Trauma Room. Reaching the doorway, Hotch noticed Jason's face drain of his remaining color, then the younger man looked into Reid's room and saw the machine that was issuing the sound, it was the heart monitor that was now showing only a horizontal green line.

--------

"CHARGING!…CLEAR!" The doctor's loud voice caused several medical personal to step back from the table, hands held up as the defibrillator paddles were placed against the stark-white chest of SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. Gideon felt himself jump as he watched Reid's body arch as the current passed through to his heart. Another shout from the doctor for 'charging' then 'clear' caused Gideon to lean heavily against the door frame as he heard a muffled curse from Morgan, who was standing behind him. Jason's eye's were fixed on the green-hued screen that still responded with only the flat-line that indicated that there was no life emanating from the man on the gurney. After the third round of current Gideon's own heart jumped as a faint blimp jumped across the screen, soon followed by another, then another.

"Okay folks, call the OR tell them we have one coming up STAT!" The doctor's voice boomed over the loud commotion in the room as everyone seemed to move at once, the wheels on the bed were unlocked and as a unit the room emptied as several personal pushed the bed containing, a barely alive Spencer through the doorway and toward the elevators at the end of the hall.

Hotch took a hold of Gideon's arm and pulled him from the doorway as the staff pushed Reid through, he felt the older profiler try to follow, but held firm as he knew Jason wouldn't be allowed in the lift. "Are you with Agent Reid?" A white-coated man stopped in front of the three men, just steps from the Trauma room.

Aaron seemed to be the only one to find his voice as anger radiated off Morgan and Gideon's eyes were still focused on the now closed elevator doors. "I'm Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, this is SSA Jason Gideon and SSA Derek Morgan, Please how is he doing?"

The doctor took in the appearance of the men before him, glancing toward the curtained area as he saw a young, blond woman come into view, "Agent Reid is on his way up to surgery, we were having a problem controlling the bleeding. The gun shot wound is in his upper left chest area, from the blood loss it appears that the bullet may have nicked the pulmonary artery. The blood loss is what caused his heart to stop, but as you know we were able to successfully revive him. Hopefully they will be able to repair the damage in surgery."

JJ stepped forward, "What are his chances?" she whispered; secretly knowing that if Reid was standing with them he could rattle off the chances of surviving a GSW to the chest that nicked an artery.

The doctor looked at her with a puzzled look until Hotch spoke again, "Special Agent Jennifer Jaurau."

The physician nodded and continued, "I can't give you percentages, it depends on how quickly the surgeon can find and repair the damage. I can say that with the blood loss it is making it more difficult, but he has the fact that he is young and appears healthy on his side, so I chose to be optimistic until told otherwise. Our OR is on the third floor, I'll call up and have them set a room up for you, the surgery could take a few hours."

Silence settled over the group as the doctor saw several different emotions cross the Agent's faces; he then turned and headed down the hall to call the third floor to arrange their waiting area. JJ's quiet voice broke the silence, "I'll stay down here with Elle, you all go wait on Spence, I'll come up as soon as I know something."

Hotch and Morgan glanced at her then back to Gideon who just seemed lost in thought. Morgan looked at Hotch, "I'll meet you up there, I need to call Garcia." Aaron nodded as he gently took Gideon's arm, it almost frightened Hotch at how easily the older man was allowing himself to be led around, but he slowly led the older man toward the lifts, hitting number three as he saw Morgan give JJ a reassuring hug as the doors slid closed.


	3. Chapter 3

Not Again  
Chapter 3  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_Flashback--_

_Gideon had figured out that it was a trap seconds too late as the blast knocked the older man off his feet. As he slowly made his way up off the ground he caught sight of a lone body laying among the debris of the building, the dark hair turned all most gray from the dust, a piece of the wall obscuring the 'FB' of the Kevlar vest that the younger man was wearing. Jason started stumbling his way toward the downed man ignoring the shouts of the others running toward him and the blast area._

"_Oh God…" The seasoned profiler muffled as he approached and dropped beside one of his injured team members, "Hotch?" Jason couldn't hear any of the activity going on around him; his eyes were focused on the bloody, dust-covered face of the young man laying unconscious before him. With shaking hands he reached out and touched the fallen agent's neck, releasing a breath that he didn't even realize he was holding when he found a faint pulse, but he quickly noticed that no breath's seemed to be emanating from the unconscious man. "Nonono…" Gideon mumbled as he tried desperately to remove the section of wall that was covering his colleague, his friend._

_It was impossibly heavy as Jason felt someone grab his arm, trying to pull him away, without looking up the older man fought the grip, "NO! Help me, he's still alive." Gideon tried harder to shift the piece of wall compressing on Agent Hotchner's chest, finally getting some help from the agent that was trying to get him out of the area. Together they managed to shift the material off the injured profiler as the other agent dropped to the ground across from Gideon and reached for Hotch's neck as Jason started to unfasten the Kevlar vest the younger man was wearing._

"_Sir, there's nothing there…" The agent said as he watched Jason loosen the ever-present tie around Hotch's neck._

_Gideon looked up, "What? No, he just had a pulse; please you have to help me with him." The other agent saw the desperation in the older man's face, as well as hearing the pleading sound of his voice, knowing that the profiler had just lost a majority of his team in the blast the agent decided to help. If Supervisory Special Agent Jason Gideon had felt a pulse only moments ago who was he to question, Agent Gideon was a legend in the FBI, so if he needed help, the young agent would do everything he could._

"_MEDIC!" The younger agent shouted among the chaos the blast scene had become. _

_He then watched as Gideon checked again for a pulse, apparently finding nothing this time the older man raised himself and started doing chest compressions on the younger profiler. The other agent listened to the count and when it reached thirty he blew two breaths into Agent Hotchner's mouth, but only noticed one side of his chest rise. Jason resumed compressions as the two men cycled through several sets before the paramedics arrived and took over, putting a tube down Hotch's throat, then using the defibrillator to finally get the young man's heart started again._

_The junior agent that had help Gideon, slowly pulled the older agent to his feet as they watched Hotch being loaded onto a gurney and whisked away through the smoke and dust that was settling over the area. "Sir, we need to get you to the hospital." the young agent said as he started to lead Gideon toward another waiting ambulance, it was then that a photographer, who had gotten through the police barricades, snapped the photo of Jason that would appear in the next days papers._

_Morgan and Reid rushed to meet Gideon at the hospital, Jason had, fortunately, sent them off to interview another potential witness and they hadn't been near the explosion. They found the older man in an exam room, quietly pacing back and forth staring at his hands. As the two agents approached they noticed his hands were still dirt, dust and blood covered, Morgan knew they had lost some members of there team, but didn't know who and seeing Gideon in such a state the younger profiler wasn't sure what to do._

_Reid hung at the door, he was the newest and youngest member of the team and was still trying to find his place among the elite of the BAU, but he had quickly been accepted by nearly everyone on the team, despite his age, so the thought of losing people he considered friends was terrifying to the young genius and watching the expressions on his mentor's face wasn't helping. Morgan stepped in front of Gideon, stopping the man's frantic pacing, putting his hands on the older man's arms Derek asked quietly, "Who?"_

_Morgan felt like he had been punched in the gut as his breath escaped him at the utterly devastated look on his boss's face and the hollow, shell-shocked look in his eyes. It took a moment before Gideon could find his voice, "They're all gone…" the older profiler's voice shuttered, his head shaking back and forth, as Morgan's face paled, Reid making a whimpering sound from near the door, "except…" Derek almost missed that whispered word. With the loss of his friends overwhelming his mind, the thought that someone had made it brought a spark of hope to the dark-skinned agent._

"_Who Gideon? Except who?" Morgan shook Jason slightly to get a response._

_A far away look crossed Gideon's face, "He wasn't inside yet, they were all inside, but he wasn't…" the older man mumbled._

"_Damn it Gideon, who wasn't inside?" Morgan shook the man again, needing to know who was left of his team, aside from the three men in the room._

"_Hotch", Jason whispered._

_-------------------_

Jason Gideon's mind had flashed back to one of the most horrific days of his career, of his life. It was the day of the bombing in Boston that had cost him nearly his whole team and almost his sanity as he had a difficult time accepting that he had been tricked into believing the bomber and sent the majority of his team to their deaths. As Jason again paced another hospital room, he couldn't help but remember the time another one of his agent's blood had literally been on his hands as Reid's was now. Looking up in his pacing Gideon's eyes fell on SSA Aaron Hotchner, the only agent that had walked away from the blast that day. Walking away being a loose description as Hotch had been in a coma for three days and in the hospital for two week, then off work for two months. Jason had been surprised that when Aaron had been cleared for duty the young profiler wanted to return to the BAU and continue to work with him.

But now the blood on his hands was that of a young man Jason, himself, had personally recruited by taking the request for Reid to join all the way to the director, because of his age. Spencer Reid had only been twenty when Jason brought him into the BAU, but the young man was a genius and already had two doctorates and was working on his third. Though quiet and extremely shy, Spencer had no problem with the classroom part of the training, he did struggle with the physical aspects of the rigorous routine, but soon surprised everyone by being able to complete the courses needed, his only questionable area being his firearms qualification. Reid had only barely passed that part, not that the boy couldn't shot, but he tended to over think the shots and became nervous.

Gideon found himself smiling slightly as he remembered the sheepish grin Reid gave him as Jason had been the only person the young man had to attend his FBI Graduation ceremony. From that day Gideon had, seemingly, taken Reid under his wing and guided him through the trials and tribulations of working in the BAU, but much to Jason's surprise the young man flourished within the Unit and was slowly starting to come into his own as a Profiler and a person. However the smile faded again at the helpless feeling settling over Gideon as he looked at his hands, Reid's blood still dried on them. He seemed unable to wash the crimson/rust stain off, at least until he knew if his friend, his protégé, the boy that was like a son to him, was going to make it.

Hotch watched while Jason relentlessly paced the small waiting room for the last two hours. Morgan had come upstairs shortly after they had, having called Garcia to inform her about Reid. It had taken Derek nearly twenty minutes to get the normally light-hearted woman calmed down, she had insisted on catching the next flight to Texas, but Morgan had convinced her to wait until they knew how long they would be there and swore he would call her as soon as they knew of the young genius's condition.

Two of the three men in the room turned as the door opened, JJ pushing Elle in a wheelchair, came through the door, Hotch jumped up to hold it the rest of the way, as Morgan moved a couple chairs aside to accommodate Elle's chair. "How you feeling?" Hotch asked quietly as it appeared that Gideon hadn't even noticed the entrance of the two female members of the team.

"I've had better train rides…" Elle touched the bandage on the side of her head, "How's Reid?"

"We don't know anything yet." Morgan answered as he took a seat across from Greenaway, JJ and Hotch sitting next to him.

"Has he been like that the whole time?" JJ nodded toward Gideon as the man continued to rub his hands together, pacing.

Hotch silently nodded, then met Elle's gaze, "They haven't released you yet have they?" The woman still looked incredible pale and tired.

"She threatened to sign herself out if they didn't let her come up here and wait." JJ commented, not really happy with her teammate, but secretly also wanting to be closer to were Spencer was. "The doctor's made her promise to stay in the chair; they were waiting for some test results and said they would find her up here when they had them." The blond woman concluded.

"So far it's just a mild concussion." Elle commented rubbing the bridge of her nose.

Silence settled over the room as Morgan left to find them some real coffee, the man was never good at sitting still and needed to do something. Hotch, JJ and Elle sat, watching the clock and Gideon as the older man continued to pace, lost in his own thoughts and fears.


	4. Chapter 4

Not Again  
Chapter 4  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

A/N: FYI I have no medical knowledge other than what I see on TV so if I get some of it wrong, please forgive. Enjoy!

Another hour passed, Morgan had brought them all back some coffee, though Gideon's was now cold and remained untouched on the end table. The team was becoming more concerned about the older man's well-being as his silent pacing had continued since they had arrived, as if he thought by sitting down something bad would happen.

Hotch, Morgan, JJ and Elle looked up as the door opened as a green-scrub clad man entered. His age could be placed somewhere between Hotch's and Gideon's, but the exhausted, drawn look made him appear older, wearier. "Are you all here for Agent Spencer Reid?"

Everyone but Elle stood as the doctor approached the group; the mention of Reid's name seemed to snap Jason from wherever his mind had retreated too over the last several hours. "Dr. Reid", Gideon spoke his automatic response as he approached the group.

"I'm sorry?" The surgeon looked confusingly toward the older man.

Stepping closer Gideon's tired, worried eye's looked at the doctor, "Dr. Spencer Reid, he holds three doctorates." Jason had always worried people wouldn't respect Reid because of his age, so the older man made it a habit of referring to Spencer as 'Dr. Reid' anytime he was introduced to someone new.

Derek glanced from Gideon to Hotch, who gave a subtle nod, then the younger man spoke up, "How's he doing?" Morgan knew they needed to get the surgeon talking or Gideon could stall without realizing it.

"Please, have a seat…" The doctor motioned toward the chairs they had just risen from, each person, aside from Gideon retook their seat as the surgeon sat as well. "Dr. Reid sustained a gunshot wound that was nearly point-blank, honestly that is what may have helped save him, the bullet didn't have a chance to do any greater amount of damage than it did. That said he did have a nicked pulmonary artery, which we were able to successfully repair, there was also some muscle damage done in his left shoulder from where the bullet went through before it exited just above his shoulder blade. He did however lose a lot of blood and we had a few problems keeping him stabilized through the operation. We are currently giving him units of blood and have him on a round of antibiotics to help against infection. Dr. Reid is able to breath on his own and the rest of his vitals are starting to come back within acceptable levels. He will have to remain in the hospital at least the next three to four days and will be in some pain for a while, but baring any unforeseen complications, with some physical therapy, I see Dr. Reid making a full recovery."

The doctor watched as the people around him all seemed to release a collective sigh of relief at the news. However as he glanced at the man who had remained standing the doctor saw him visibly pale and his stance waver, but it was Hotch that reacted quicker as he stood and took a hold of Gideon's arm, the doctor joining him as they lead the older man to a nearby chair. "Jason?" Hotch spoke quietly as he knelt in front of his friend, the older profiler shaking ever so slightly, "Jason?" Hotch noticed the doctor step to water cooler in the room, bringing a cup over, handing it to Aaron.

Wordlessly accepting the water Gideon took a small drink as his eyes met Hotch's, "He's going to alright?"

Looking up at the doctor, who gave another positive nod, Aaron looked at Gideon, "Yes, Jason, a few days in the hospital, some physical therapy and Reid should be just fine."

"Oh thank God…" The older man whispered out as he leaned back, closing his eyes.

Giving Gideon a moment, Hotch stood up and faced the doctor, the team having watched everything from a few feet away, "When do you think we can see him?"

"Dr. Reid will be in recover about another hour or two, then he'll be moved to the ICU for the next eighteen to twenty-four hours, just for observation, by tomorrow he will be in his own room. However, he can have visitors for a few minutes every hour in the ICU. We plan on allowing him to wake up on his own, but he will be given pain medication and will probably sleep for most of the time he's in that Unit. I know you all have been here since he was brought in, so you should probably try and get some rest yourselves, or at least something to eat, like I said it will be at least two hours." The doctor concluded as Hotch reached out a hand to shake.

"Thank you…for everything." Aaron said as the doctor gave them a tired smile, then quietly left the room.

Jason had remained seated, his head still back and his eyes closed as the doctor left the room, Hotch stepped over toward the team. "Elle, since you haven't been cleared to leave yet and your doctor hasn't been up, you and JJ need to go back downstairs, once you have been cleared I want JJ to take you to the hotel and for you to get some rest…" Hotch paused as he saw the argument starting to build, "The request isn't open for discussion, you can come back and visit Reid in the morning." Ignoring the glare he was receiving Aaron looked at Morgan, "Call Garcia and let her know what's going on, then call the local office and see what they need from us, let me know and I'll take care of it." Morgan nodded as he stood, holding the door for JJ to push Elle back through.

"Morgan?" Hotch called him before the dark-skinned agent could leave.

"Yeah, Hotch?" Derek allowed the door to close behind the women.

Lowering his voice Hotch spoke, "I'm going to try and get Jason to go to the hotel and clean up, once you've made the calls I may need your help with him, I don't know if he'll want to leave, but I think he needs to get out of here for a little bit before he see's Reid." If Aaron had to admit it, he was worried about what frame of mind Gideon was in. The younger profiler knew how Jason felt about Reid, he viewed the younger agent as almost a son, but he also knew how hard it had been for Gideon to return to the BAU after Boston.

"Not a problem Hotch, I'll be back in thirty minutes." Derek answered before heading out the door to make the necessary phone calls. Without saying another word, Hotch took a seat across from Gideon as it appeared that he was finally allowing himself to relax for the first time since they had arrived in Texas.

----------------

Three hours later found Gideon, Hotch and Morgan back at the hospital in the waiting room just outside the ICU. Three hours ago, once Morgan had returned from making the phone calls, Hotch tried to talk Jason into returning to the hotel. At first the older man refused and systematically started pacing again, Aaron finally stepped into Jason's path, gently, but firmly taking his friend by the shoulders, "Jason, you need to rest and you need to clean up before you see Reid."

It had not slipped Hotch's attention that Jason still had Reid's dried blood on his hands, as well as the rust-brown stains that covered the older man's knees and shirt front. When Gideon looked at his counterpart with apprehension in his face the younger man just nodded toward the older profiler's tightly clinched hands and shirt. As if seeing the stains for the first time Jason paled again, then mumbled, "I can't let him see me like this, it'll frighten him."

It amazed Hotch sometimes that Jason still attempted to 'shield' Reid, even after what the young man had experienced in his time with the FBI. Aaron knew Reid was stronger than others perceived him to be, but Hotch also knew that when it came to Gideon, Reid continued to try and gain the man's approval. Therefore, the relationship the two men had paralleled a father/son dynamic, a dynamic neither man seemed to realize, nor sought to change. So knowing this Aaron knew how to get Jason to do what was needed. "We'll get you back to the hotel, you can get cleaned up, maybe try and rest a little and we can return in a few hours when Reid can have visitors."

Clutching his hands again, Gideon slowly nodded his head, then without meeting Aaron's gaze, the older profiler headed toward the door as Morgan opened it. Hotch silently followed his friend out, Derek allowing the door to close silently behind them.

Now the three men remaining men of the BAU sat outside the ICU, waiting to see their injured teammate and friend, JJ and Elle remained at the hotel, per Hotch's orders. When Hotch had stopped by the ladies room to see how Elle was doing, JJ told him she was asleep, the doctor saying the younger woman had a mild concussion and was suffering from exhaustion and that JJ needed to wake Elle every few hours as a precaution. Aaron told JJ that if they needed anything to call him and that he would call them as soon as they knew more about Reid.

Each man looked up as the doors to the Intensive Care Unit opened and a young, dark-haired nurse walked toward them, "Someone may come back and visit with Dr. Reid for few minutes."

Morgan and Hotch looked toward Gideon, who remained unmoved, something close to fear flashing in his dark eyes. After a few seconds of silence Aaron spoke, "Jason you should go see him first." Meeting his friend's eyes the older man nodded, then slowly stood, following the nurse, worry and fear building with every step.


	5. Chapter 5

Not Again  
Chapter 5  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

_A/N: So sorry for the long delay on posting this chapter, took me a while to write. I've been under the weather for a couple weeks and the constant pain has made it hard to write anything coherent. I hope you can forgive and that this chapter makes sense, since I'm still not a hundred percent yet. I think I have Jason a little out of character, I'm not sure, but he strikes me as being fatherly toward Reid and I tried to write from that perspective. Hope I wasn't to far off base, anyway hope you enjoy--Thank you, Montez_

Jason followed the nurse down the hallway toward the glass-enclosed cubicles that filled the ICU, Pausing a few feet from where the young woman stopped. The nurse looked at the older man seeing the fearful apprehension in his face, giving him a small smile she reassured, "Dr. Reid is doing just fine, all of his vitals are stable."

Looking toward the open entrance then back to the young woman, Gideon nodded and slowly walked forward, watching his feet cross the threshold of the small room the older man took a deep-breath before looking up toward the figure lying on the bed.

What seemed to surprise the Profiler was the lack of equipment that was attached to the young man before him. For hours Jason had let his imagination play out 'worst-case' scenarios, but what he saw, for the first time, gave Gideon the proof he needed that Spencer was actually going to pull through this.

Reid lay still in the bed, normally the young Doctor was a bungle of energy, his body always seemed to be trying to keep up with how fast his mind worked. The genius usually appeared pale and a little too skinny, but now it was more pronounced as he lay against the stark-white sheets of the hospital bed. Gideon took in the IV lines that ran into the back of Reid's hands; one supplying blood to replenish what he had lost, the other supplying hydration, antibiotics and pain medication the surgeon had mentioned. Other than that there was a nasal canal resting just under Spencer's nose, a pulse-ox meter clipped to the index finger of his right hand and electrodes attached to his bare-chest that led to a heart monitor that showed the constant, steady beating of his heart. However, Jason felt his breath hitch at the large white bandage that covered the left side of Reid's chest, a dark-red stain barely showing through.

Taking a few steps forward Gideon finally came up next to the bed, looking at the young man's relaxed face his own mind flashed back to the nervous, determined face as the young man stood in the middle of the mobile command post and came up with the idea of trying to fake the removal of the non-existent micro-chip that Dr. Bryar was sure the Government had planted in his arm. Gideon recalled watching while Morgan tried to get Reid to teach him the slight of hand that the younger man could do, virtually, in his sleep. Jason then watched when Morgan voiced his concern at not wanting to allow Spencer on the train with a armed psychotic, but the determination that flashed in Reid's eyes as he reminded everyone 'we don't have any other choice', Gideon couldn't help but feel proud of his young protégé, he was willing putting his own safety aside to help the hostages.

Once Jason had agreed with Reid, he saw the young man became nervous, since the young Profiler was never very good at hiding his true feeling from him. Gideon watched Morgan talk him through the possibility of HRT coming in without warning, then the dark-skinned agent helped the younger man into a Kevlar vest, instructing him not to take it off and finally reminding Reid to play into the guys fantasy where by Spencer confidently rambled off how doctor and dentist had been recruited to implant micro-chips. Jason couldn't help but smile when Morgan gave the young man one of his 'you've got to be kidding' looks, thus prompting Reid to remind Derek that he said for him to play into Dr. Bryar's fantasy.

Soon after, Hotch walked back into the command center with the 'Government micro-chip' that had indeed come out of Government radio. Within minutes Gideon, JJ, Morgan and Hotch were standing around while Reid practiced his slight of hand with the tiny device. Thinking back now as he looked at the still form before him Jason wished he had went with his gut reaction to no allow the younger man on the train when he had problems holding onto the small object. But again he allowed Reid to make the final decision once he successfully performed the trick. Gideon remembered ordering Spencer to not stay on the train, to leave as soon as he had 'removed' the chip. Looking back now he cursed himself for not seeing how quickly it had all gone wrong.

Shaking his head slightly Gideon placed a hand over Spencer's, careful of the IV. "I'm sorry." The older man mumbled, pulling a chair closer, sitting down, he held on to the younger man's hand, feeling as if he had somehow let Reid down.

Ten minutes later the young woman that had led Jason back silently stepped into the room, "Sir, it's time for you to go now; you can come back again in an hour." When Gideon didn't move, or even seem to hear the nurse she stepped forward, laying a gentle hand on the older man's shoulder, "Sir?"

Jason finally noticed the woman's presence, "I'm sorry?" He hadn't heard what she had said, his mind focused on the young man before him.

"It's time for you to leave; you can come back in an hour." She tried to give a comforting smile as she took in the saddened expression on the older man's face.

Slowly standing Jason gave Reid's hand a gentle squeeze and faced the nurse, "You'll let me know if anything changes." It was more a statement than a question.

"Of course." The young nurse started taking her round of vitals on her patient as Jason left the room.

Over the course of the next several hours Hotch and Morgan had come back to see that Spencer was on the mend with their own eyes, but Jason took the majority of the visits. Hotch had checked with the local office to make sure anything the BAU needed to sign off on was taken care of, he had accepted their thoughts and prayers for Reid's quick recovery, then the older agent returned to the hotel, checking on Elle and JJ, updating them on Spencer's status. Morgan had also returned to the hotel and had called Quantico to keep Garcia informed on her favorite 'Junior G-man', reassuring the younger woman that the resident Genius was really on the mind and hopefully would be on his way home in a matter of days.

Returning to the hospital later in the day, Hotch had tried to get Gideon to leave and get some rest back at the hotel, but the older man refused to leave, sleeping intermediately in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs as the hours passed and he waited for the few minutes he could sit with the young man that was like a son to him.

At the eighteen hour mark the doctor came into the waiting room, Gideon and Hotch the only two still there, the doctor informed them they were going to go ahead and move Reid to a private room and start cutting back on the heavier pain medication since Spencer hadn't become fully conscious while in the ICU. An hour later another nurse led the two profilers toward the private room that now housed Reid, upon entering they noticed two, more comfortable looking, chairs had been placed in the room, Jason immediately pulling one to the side of the bed, taking a seat.

Aaron watched for a few minutes as Jason situated himself, he then too stepped closer getting a better look at Reid, the younger man was not as pale as before, but still unnaturally still. Hotch's quiet voice broke the silence, "Jason, I'm going to call the other and let them know that Reid has been moved to his own room." Without a word from his boss, Hotch left the room to make the calls.

A couple hours later brought Morgan, Elle and JJ back to the hospital, but Reid had remained asleep, only occasionally making a quiet noise or a slight movement, but never fully waking up. Jason had voiced his concern, but the nurse had assured him that the young man should wake up anytime, that it was different for everyone, but again reiterated that the young agent's vitals were strong.

The rest of the team had gone out to get something to eat, Jason still refusing to leave Reid until he saw the young man awake. Sitting in the quiet hospital room, the only sounds were the faint beeping of the heart monitor and the hissing of the oxygen as it passed from through the nasal canal, Gideon sat drinking, what he was sure was, at least, his tenth cup of coffee. Over the many years of drinking the beverage he had become immune to the effects caffeine had on some people, allowing the man to consume the drink virtually any time, day or night.

Gideon had eaten very little and only when Hotch had literally sat across from him until the older man ate the sandwich the younger one had purchased in the hospital cafeteria. The older profiler knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that what he was doing wasn't healthy, physically or mentally, but he couldn't pull himself away, again his mind drifted back to those days after the bombing in Boston, when he had refused to leave the hospital until Hotch had finally woken up, even though it had been Haley that had been at Aaron's side when he finally opened his eyes again, Gideon had not left the waiting area that was just steps away from the younger man's room.

The older man was pulled from those distant thoughts by movement on the bed before him. Looking up Jason noticed Reid's head moving slightly back and forth. Standing, Gideon took a hold of the younger man's hand, "Spencer, can you hear me?" It was rare for Jason to call Reid by his given name, but at the moment it seemed right. A low moan and the pinching of the young man's forehead in pain were the only reply. "Do you think you can open your eyes?" Jason squeezed the hand he held, feeling pressure returned when Reid squeezed his hand back.

Reid tried to blink a few times as pain flashed across his face, opening his mouth a faint sound escaped, Gideon leaned forward, "What was that?" Reaching for the cup of water on the side table Jason placed the straw in the younger man's mouth, "Take a drink first."

Spencer obeyed, taking a small sip, then attempting to take a larger one. Jason pulled the straw away as Reid coughed, "Easy, just a little, Can you open your eyes for me Spencer?" Sitting the cup down the older man watched as the younger one attempted to do as requested.

Slowly dark-brown eyes started to blink, finally opening and focusing on the older man's. Jason couldn't help the smile he felt cross his face. After watching his protégé collapse on the train a little over a day ago, he had feared he would never see the younger man's eyes open again. "That's it…"

Again Reid's lips tried to form the words he was so desperately trying to say, leaning in again Jason was finally able to make out the whispered sound, "…Sorry."

Jason wasn't sure if he was hearing the young Genius right as he couldn't possibly understand what he could be sorry for. "What?…you don't have anything to be sorry for."

"N…t leav…ing…train…" Reid whispered out, his eye-lids already dropping again as the need for his body to rest and recover seemed to override what his brain wanted to do.

"What?…no, you did fine, you did what needed to be done, you don't have anything to be sorry for." Jason tried to reassure Reid as the young man's eyes started closing, "Rest now, we'll talk later." Giving the injured agent's shoulder a gently pat, Jason watched as Spencer's breathes evened out and sleep claimed him again.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Gideon sat heavily in the chair, not understanding why Reid was apologizing for something he couldn't control. Yes Jason had been upset when Spencer hadn't exited the train immediately after 'removing' the chip, but he had also seen that Dr. Brower had pointed a gun at the young man and not allowed him to leave, so it was beyond Reid's control at the time as to whether he could leave the train or not. It was just something that Jason would have to make sure Reid understood, that he did nothing wrong and had nothing to apologize for.

_A/N: One more to go. Thanks to those who have kept up, I really appreciate it!--Montez_


	6. Chapter 6

Not Again  
Chapter 6  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

"Hey, look who's awake…" Morgan's voice boomed as he, Hotch, Elle and JJ entered Reid's room the next morning. The young genius was sitting up, a bowl of what the nurse had assured him was oatmeal sat on the tray-table that was situated over his bed. The cup of juice appeared to be the only thing that had been touched. "Bout time you stopped laying around on the job." Morgan spoke again, the smile he wore barely covering the fear he had held onto for the young man he viewed as a little brother.

"Hey." Reid said back, raising his right hand as everyone converged on his bed, Jason still holding his seat in the chair he had pulled next to the bed the day before. The Genius hesitantly accepted hugs from JJ and Elle, who held on just a little longer.

When she finally pulled back she looked into his face, "How are you really feeling?" The older woman had felt completely useless over the course of the events on the train, it didn't help that she had been handcuffed to her seat and had only been able to watch as Spencer seemed to finally start talking the suspect down. She had felt some responsibility for Reid getting shot because she had taken the opportunity to knock Dr. Bryar off balance as he turned from Reid, thus causing the younger agent to take action and try to disarm the larger man. It was during the struggle that not only did the suspect get shot by another passenger who had been hiding a gun the whole time, but that Spencer had also gotten shot when at apparently the same time Dr. Bryar fired the gun he was still holding, hitting Reid without the Agent even realizing it until moments later.

JJ had woken Elle from a nightmare the night before as the horrific scenario played out in her hazy, concussed mind as she again watched the crimson stain spread across Reid's shirt and his legs give out as Gideon reached for him. The female agent was so glad to finally see Spencer awake.

"I'm good," Reid offered one of his boyish smiles, "at least as good as I can be with a gunshot wound to the shoulder." An awkward silence settled over the room a moment as the younger man looked up from the IV line he had between his fingers, "How…" He cleared his throat as his voice squeaked, "How's Dr. Bryar?"

Again everyone was silent for a moment before Hotch decided to answer, he knew Jason didn't know how the suspect was and Morgan was too pissed with the man to care. "Dr. Bryar is recovering in the psychiatric wing; he's expected to make a full recovery." Aaron paused before mentioning Dr. Deaton, Dr. Bryar's Psychiatrist, whom the suspect also shot. "Dr. Deaton is recovering as well, she was very lucky that her wound wasn't any worse than it was, the surgeon told me it was more having to stabilize her blood pressure because she lost so much blood and they are watching for infection."

"Do you know when you will be released?" JJ finally asked; bring to the subject back to the injured man in the bed.

"I believe the doctor mentioned another day or two, I was still a little out of it when he came in this morning." Reid answered as he looked toward Jason, who had spoken with the doctor that morning.

The older man finally looked up, meeting the worried glances of his team. "That's what he said, about another day or so, as long as nothing unexpected happens." Looking back at Spencer he continued, "He also said that you should be okay to fly back, so you won't have to endure that long car ride."

"I called Quantico this morning," Hotch spoke up, "I spoke with the Section Chief and got approval for us to have the next few days off, so we can delay returning until Reid can travel."

"I bet that hurt Strauss to agree to that." Morgan spoke, the others chuckling, knowing the friction that existed between the Section Chief and the rest of the BAU.

Spencer leaned his head back, closing his eyes. He hated to admit it but he was tired, his shoulder was starting to hurt as the pain medication started to wear off. Aaron was the one who noticed first, "I think we should be going guys, Reid looks like he could use some more rest."

"I'm good guys…seriously." Reid yawned as he said it, causing Morgan to smile.

"Sure you are kid," Morgan patted Spencer's leg, "You get your rest, so we can get you home, Garcia is anguish to see you, it's taking all my powers of persuasion to convince her you are on the mend and will be home soon."

"Between you and Garcia, I'm sure that didn't take much." Elle laughed as she had been privy to some of the conversation between the Agent and Computer Tech.

"I'll try and call her later." Reid said quietly, hating the thought that Garcia was sitting in Virginia worried about him.

Morgan reached up and gave Reid's uninjured shoulder a gentle squeeze before turning to leave, Hotch shook Reid's hand, offering a rare hint of a smile. JJ and Elle again leaned in, hugging the younger man, Elle whispering a 'thank you' in Reid's ear as she pulled away. Jason remained seated as Hotch stopped at the door, the other's already out the door, "Jason, I'll wait for you out here." Aaron would give the man a few more minutes, he hoped now that Spencer was awake Jason would finally return to the hotel and get some much needed rest.

"I'll be out in a few minutes." The older man acknowledged as he noticed a relieved look flash across Hotch's face. Jason wanted to talk to Reid first, but he wanted to do it when they were alone.

Watching the door close as Hotch passed through, Gideon looked back toward Reid, who was picking at a loose thread on the hospital blanket. "You don't have to stay; you should go and get some rest." Spencer spoke first as he looked up at his mentor.

"I will, but I need to talk to you." Jason moved forward in the chair, his elbows resting on his knees.

"I know I should have left the train, but I just didn't get the chance…" Reid started before Jason stopped him.

"It wasn't your fault." Jason shook his head as he looked at his own clinched hands, hands that had, just a few hours ago, been covering in the blood of the young man before him. "Did you think I was angry with you?"

Reid sat quiet for a moment, since Jason Gideon had recruited him to the FBI and then the BAU; Spencer had done everything he could possibly do to make the man before him proud. Reid would never admit it out loud, but he looked at Gideon as the father figure that had been missing in his life since he was ten and his own father had left him and his mentally ill mother on their own. It had caused the young boy to grow up fast and deal not only with his own genius and the difficulties that went along with being a pre-teen in high school, but had also left Spencer to take care of his sick mother.

Even now, lying in a hospital bed with a hole in his shoulder Reid felt he had let his mentor down. Without looking up the younger man answered, "You order me not to stay on the train."

Jason shook his head as he watched the man he was in some ways closer too than his own son, "And Morgan told you not to remove your vest, but you did what you needed to do at the time. You had a Paranoid Psychotic pointing a gun at you and you did what you needed to do to get yourself and those hostages off that train alive."

Reid looked up, somehow surprised that Gideon wasn't angry with him. Jason continued, "I watched the video feed, I may have not been able to hear what was going on, but you did everything right. Your slight of hand worked, we, you knew it would be a possibility that he wouldn't let you leave, but you stayed calm and did as you were trained to do."

"I wasn't as calm as I seemed." Reid spoke quietly.

"How do you mean?" Jason asked, puzzled.

"Once I had the chip out, Dr Bryar ordered me to turn it on or he was going to shoot me." Spencer's dark eyes noticed a hint of surprise pass over Gideon's face. "If it wasn't for Elle, things could have turned out different. For once…" Reid chuckled nervously, remembering the moment of fear that he had felt back on the train. "someone else was able to think quicker than me."

"What did she do?" Jason was truly intrigued now.

"I couldn't think of a response and she told him it had to be implanted in order to work. That gave me the few seconds to come up with an explanation about electric impulses in the body making it work." Spencer watched as Gideon smiled slightly.

"Knew she was quick on her feet, but I never thought you would need help in the explanation department." Jason commented as he stood up.

"Believe it or not, even my mind can go blank when I have a gun aimed point-blank at me. At least everyone came out of it alive." Reid finished as he watched Jason walk toward the window.

Silence settled for a moment before Jason's voice broke the quiet. "I have only been as scared as I was when I heard that gunshot when I approached the train one other time in my life." Gideon turned and faced his protégé, "and that was Boston." Reid was surprised that Jason mentioned the bombing, it was a topic that was hardly ever discussed, they had all lost a lot that day. Gideon was rarely so open with his feelings, but he wanted Reid to understand what he meant to him. "All I could think in the time it took me to board that train car was 'not again', I didn't want to face the possibility of losing someone else that I worked with, that I cared about."

Jason watched as understanding seemed to cross Reid's face, "I wasn't angry with you, I was angry with myself for allowing you to be placed in the position you were place in, there should have been another way, but looking back I realize letting you get on that train was the right thing to do, but entering that car and going from being relieved to seeing you still on your feet, then watching as…" Gideon hesitated as images of Reid collapsing in front of him returned, "watching as you fell, I knew in that moment that I wouldn't be able to return from that if you hadn't made it."

Stepping back toward the bed, Gideon stopped, looking Reid in the eye's, making sure he had the younger man's attention, "But you need to remember one thing, I'm proud of you, I always have been and always will be and don't ever doubt your abilities, you did everything right, the situation just turned out wrong that wasn't your fault. Now…" Jason patted the younger man's leg. "you need to get some rest and if I don't leave here for a little while I believe Hotch and Morgan may come in here and carry me out." Jason smiled as he walked toward the door.

Reid knew what he had just witnessed was rare, that the man before him was opening himself up to the younger man, "Gideon…" Spencer spoke as the older man reached for the door, "thank you."

Again Jason glanced toward his feet then looked back at the man he viewed as a son, "No Spencer, thank you." With that Gideon walked through the door, meeting Hotch in the hallway. As the two Agents headed toward the parking lot, knowing that his young friend was truly on the mend, Jason couldn't help but think how lucky he was that Dr. Spencer Reid had allowed him to become a part of the younger man's life.

_A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed this, Gideon is hard for me to write, but I hope I did okay. I want to THANK everyone who read, reviewed, alerted and favorited this story. I'm sorry I have been unable to reply to everyone individually, but I want everyone to know I really, really appreciate the time you each took in reading my story. AGAIN THANK YOU!!!. Until next time---Montez_


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